I am the maid of honor for my friend. I offered to host a bridal shower, but the bride chose to have the party at one of the bridesmaid's houses. The bridesmaid told me "I win! Ha Ha!" She also said, "My husband and I would be honored to host the party."
Since her house is too small, she will be renting a tent and heaters, and also renting game tables. At my house, we wouldn't need a tent and I have a pool table, so we wouldn't have to rent games either.
Do I have to contribute to the cost of this party even if the bridesmaid is hosting? Doesn't the host of a party pay for the party? (All the bridesmaids could have hosted a shower at her house, but she has said she's hosting).
And should I really have to pay these extra rental costs when I wouldn't have had to pay them at my house?
If the shower was at my house, I wouldn't have expected anyone else to pay, but I don't want to pay for a party that I don't get to plan and don't even get the credit as host.
I will admit that I do sort of resent the bridesmaid. I resent her saying "I won! HaHA!" when I thought it wasn't a competition. It's supposed to be about the bride, not about us, right? I also resent having to pay money for rentals that would be unnecessary if it had been at my house. I also would resent paying money for a party that she is going to host because it will look like she paid for it.
Men's Jewlery Rings
Princess Rings
February 8th, 2010
Camping Gear
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Camping Discounters
February 9th, 2010
E-OMC
only for the presents not the party.
Mountain House Freeze Dried Food
February 12th, 2010
Princess Cut Engagement Rings
yes
Camp Stoves
February 13th, 2010
Camp Stoves
The host usually pays unless the entire bridal party(bridesmaid and matron of honor) is throwing the shower together. Although the latter rarely happens.
18k Gold Bracelets
February 15th, 2010
18k Gold Bracelets
not necessarily. oftentimes, it comes as a wedding gift from friends or relatives or even from the god-mother or god-father to be.
Camping Discounters
February 16th, 2010
North Face Sale
the way it reads, i’d say she is responsible for the cost unless it’s been stated otherwise. hope she’s independently wealthy. why on earth was the bride given a choice anyway?
Silver Cigarette Cases
February 18th, 2010
Men’s Jewlery Rings
NO NO NO! You shouldn’t be expected to pay for anything, although it could be a nice gesture for the rest of the bridesmaids to chip in a set amount if she can’t afford everything.
If you’re not involved in the planning and it’s not at your house, you shouldn’t be expected to pay for everything just because you’re the MOH.
Camping Discounters
February 18th, 2010
Mountain HardWear Sale
i dont think you should pay for this party especially with that reaction from the other bridesmaid (where the party is gonna be held)
let her pay for it and all those things she need to rent! HA!
Princess Cut Engagement Rings
February 19th, 2010
Black Titanium Ring
Yeah, she’s going Way overboard. It’s not in your hands anymore, it’s in hers. You can relax and enjoy her vulgar display of money. She wanted it – she’s got it. Bills and all.
Camping Gear
February 21st, 2010
Mountain Gear
If it was me I would not it may not feel right but you have many points you wouldnt have to rent anything at your house, she acted like it was a competition saying I win, ha ha ha So I would not. That doesnt even make any sense for her to do it when she dont have games or the space. Has she asked you to pitch in? If not I wouldnt because when she volunteered to take it over she took it all over, paying for everything, entertainment & all.
Car Auctions
February 23rd, 2010
Camping Gear
The person having the party pays for it. She might ask the other members of the wedding party to pitch in, but you are under no obligation, especially since you offered to have it first, and have the room at your home. Forgive me, but the bride sounds a little selfish.
E-OMC
February 24th, 2010
Sterling Silver Boxes
The host pays unless you all have agreed beforehand to split the cost. I hosted several bridal showers and the cost was mine to bear.
Mountain HardWear Sale
February 26th, 2010
Mountain Gear
BUT I STILL THINK YOU SHOULD PAY HALF BECAUSE YOU WILL BE THERE AND EATING FREE FOOD AND ALL.MEETING NEW PEOPLE HAVEING FUN DANCEING.
Silver Cigarette Cases
February 28th, 2010
Princess Rings
The host has to pay. Since you are no longer the host (seeing that she took it from you) it is her responsibility to pay for all of the expenses. All you have to do is show up with your gift. I hate people like that by the way, who ever said it was a competition right. Anyway, sorry you got to deal with that. But you shouldn’t pay, so DON’T!!
-AB
Car Auctions
March 1st, 2010
Nitro-Pak
If you don’t want to help pay for it, then don’t. You don’t want this to be a topic of conversation on the wedding day or afterwards. If the other couple asks for your help, then do what you feel you can do and no more.
Men's Jewlery Rings
March 4th, 2010
Sterling Silver Boxes
If it’s an informal (read inexpensive) shower, then the host should pick up the cost. They can also discuss with the other bridesmaid sharing costs for a more costly shower.
I would also be annoyed if I was having to pay to rent a venue rather that using my own home if that would work, focus on the cleaning you won’t have to do before and after the event.
I don’t do weddings anymore, makes life so much simpler…I figure I’ve bought maybe 40 or 50 wedding gifts in my life, and as I’ve never married it has never been reciprocated. Done with that…
Men's Jewlery Rings
March 5th, 2010
Nitro-Pak
I think you should speak to the bride and casually mention that you had a budget worked out and that now you do not need to use it you can use it to buy the shoes, bag, present etc that you wanted for the wedding. Then see what is said as it will not be very nice for people to be falling out before a wedding. Tradition says its AT the wedding that people normally row.
Nitro-Pak
March 6th, 2010
tent heater
Have a little team spirit. It sounds like your resentful. It’s understandable but unnecessary. Look at it this way, you don’t need to stick around for the clean up. Let the hostess.
tent heater
March 7th, 2010
18k Gold Bracelets
If you have no say on how this gets planned and no say on things like how to decorate and you cannot be considered a cohost, I don’t believe you have to pay. I had 3 bridal showers thrown for me by different groups of people in my lives and one was thrown for me by my now-husband’s aunts even though it was at the house of one of the aunts. I know for a fact that they all pitched in but they also had all their names on the invitation as who was throwing the shower for me. My maid of honor also threw a party for me but she tried to make it feel like a shower from all my bridesmaids so we went out and had our nails done, etc. and everyone chipped in equally (that was a smaller get together though). In your situation, if you get no credit for it, I don’t believe you should have to pay but maybe you can get her a special present like a spa day so she can enjoy herself but she’ll know its something special from you.
tent heater
March 7th, 2010
Camping Discounters
unfourtanetly yes………..
Camp Stoves
March 8th, 2010
Camp Stoves
supposed to
North Face Sale
March 11th, 2010
Princess Cut Engagement Rings
Carrie, Is the the same girl you asked about way back? You had a really nice shower planned and ready to go. If the this “girl” is taking over and the bride is actually so mannerless to let her, then she should foot the bill.
Buy a gift and let the “winner” foot the bill for the entire thing. She earned it!
Buy the bride a nice gift and don’t worry a bit.
I can’t believe she actually said that to you. What a wench.
PS. The bride has no manners either. When someone offers to have a shower for you in their home, you say thank you very much and you let them (I’m referring to the bride). If the bride wants to have another shower, then she can talk to other people about having them. This bride is a bridezilla. And that other brides maid is a witch. Who has competitions over this stuff?
I’m really sorry this is happening to you Carrie, you don’t deserve it. =)
These girls need to read a book on Manners.
Camping Discounters
March 13th, 2010
North Face Sale
Offer to pay half on the food, or pay for the favors/door prizes. Don’t pay rental costs.
Camp Stoves
March 15th, 2010
Mountain HardWear Sale
Carrie I agree with Cindy! She won alright so let her pay too. No your not obligated to help pay for a party your not hosting at all.
North Face Sale
March 17th, 2010
Car Auctions
My hosts did. They did it as a group so they split the cost.